i'm juz gonna pour everything out here..considering the fact no one actually sees this crap..
i reallie hate myself..i had the almost perfect girl..and i had to go all "jonathan"..beautiful..OREAL BERNADETTE GOH..wad did i do wrong..guess i had it coming..retribution..wad i deserve...i feel so lonely..
no one there for me...o great...i'm crying again...fucking wonderful..i whould hv considered myself lucky for getting a girl lyk tt..but noooo..i fucked it up again..
1st time we broke up...she broke up wid me over some stupid arguement...couldn't handle it without her..went crawling back to her..in the end we gt back together..06 June 2006
2nd time we broke up...i broke up wid her a few days after we gt back together..cuz we didn't tok at all...at all...n tot mayb i made a mistake by patching back wid her..15 June 2006..
2 weeks later..i realized..how much she meant to me..how much i loved her..but it was too fucking late...the conversation went somewhat like this..
O-Wad did u wanna tell me?..
J-i haven't gotten over u..
O-U still love me..
J-yea...
O-well..i got over u..now u can't?...tts ur problem..
O-i dun love u anymore..
cried lyk shit sfter tt...it was the worst time i cried for a girl..i guess now i noe wads it lyk to be on the receiving end..it sucks man..it sucks bad..now i under stand wad mel meant by "crying urself to sleep"...been doing tt e past 2 nights..
the sad thing is i feel so desperate...i didn't ask for her ta get back wid me..i begged her...she probably gonna tell everyone i noe..n i'm gonna lose every speck of dignity i ever had left...but some..i knew tt when i begged her...but i just didn't care..all i had in mind was to get her back..
haiii..
i just keep thinking abt all e gd times we had together..
i cried her on my back..all e way up to e park at munds hse...
i put her to sleep at mah birthday chalet..
how i 1st got her ta noe her n kept making her laugh on e fone..
the 1st movie we watched..i no stupid 2..
reallie can't stop crying now..y did this have to happen..i seriously feel like slashing myself just ta get my mind off these things..i seriously can't stop thinking off her..she wun even THINK about getting together with me...this has to be the worse break-up n side effect wid a girl ever...reallie need to get out of the hse..
Nothing's quite the same now.
I just can't say your name now.
But its not so bad,
You're only the best i ever had.
You don't want me back,
Youre just the best i ever had.
So you stole my world.
Now i'm just a phony.
Remembering the girl.
Leaves me down and lonely.
[4:19 AM]
% leave me
! alone ;
ITS MY FIRST POST AFTER 7 MONTHS!!...haha..nic sort of "inspired" me ta start again..haha...gd place ta..EXPRESS MY INNER MOST FELT FEELINGS...haha...i'm shit bored lah!...this will b all...for nw...ciaoz!
I'm here without you baby,
But you're still on my lonely mind.
I think about you baby,
And i dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you baby,
But you're still with me in my dreams.
And tonight,
It's only you and me.
:)
[12:00 AM]
% leave me
! alone ;
